Romance and Writing What You Know

We’ve all had bad relationships. And most romance novels seem to be about romances that go bad, then redeem themselves. This is me speaking from the perspective of a person who is not primarily a romance reader, mind you.

So my question is, how does it interact? Like every writer, a romance author surely draws upon his or her own experience to craft stories, though probably not putting literal events from their own lives into the tale. But are there any romance writers who have rarely or never had bad relationships… or who are currently living a strong, loving, long-term relationship with good communication and no major hassles?

I suspect the answer is – both. I daresay both good and bad relationships teach us about relationships, and that’s what romance writing is largely about. Long may it wave.


3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. India Drummond
    Feb 04, 2011 @ 07:22:22

    I have had one relationship I would classify as a ‘bad romance’, but overall, they’ve all been good. However, when I write about interactions between characters, I also pull from what I’ve seen in others, my friends, my family, and the world around me. 99% of my novels really come more from observation of people than my own relationships.

  2. Erica Leduc
    Jun 24, 2011 @ 05:31:46

    Much like what India Drummond said, I take my relationship material from outside of my own relationships. I put two characters in situations, and see how they react. The emotions that they have I draw on from my own life, how does love feel, taste smell, how does hurt feel taste and smell. I have recently entered into a time in my life where I don’t like to draw on my current relationship, but have little problem drawing on past ones when I do go back to what my experiences are.

  3. twinsbabymama
    Jan 29, 2012 @ 19:07:09

    I’ve been with the same wonderful man for almost 20 years, and yet there have been times I’ve contemplated suffocating him in his sleep. 🙂 I think everyone has those moments, but they aren’t what I write from. Often times it’s the way a lyric, or the light shining through my window, or even the cry of a stranger’s baby that conjures the images that come to me. (I did date one abusive ass in HS, but he isn’t worth crediting anything on.)
    Yeah, I bet that was a great big help.

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